The mind of a syltherin prince
by Cookiez
Summary: Enter the mind of Draco if you dare! Does he like harry? That voice in his head keeps telling him so! mild slash HD, R&R!


Disclaimer- *rolls eyes* Yes I own this I am also married to Tom Felton and I am rich, well we can all dream!!  
  
My name is Draco Malfoy, my name isn't important. It's just an overrated title that strikes fear into people, that makes people feel a certain hate towards me, they don't know me, no-one does. A name I have been given not rewarded, as my father would put it. Not something I have earned, nor something I deserve. I don't deserve the power I hold, but the hate people give me is all my own. My venomous words that I spit so willingly, that I spat unaware that it would all come back in my face. The enemies I made based on stupid prejudices I held, have stuck. Thinking I wouldn't need them that I wouldn't want them. That the people that hovered around me like servants liked me, now I know so much better.  
  
At one point I thought my name was an honour, now I know that it is a curse. A cruel fate that binds me together with the man that is unworthy to even be called a father, and the hollow shell of a person I call my mother. That forces us to spend day after day together, in each other's lonesome company. My mother locked away in her room staring at her reflection, the reflection of a person she doesn't know that she doesn't want to be. The person that is bound with my father. She doesn't know that I have watched her, or that I have witnessed tears caressing her soft skin. And then she wipes away the tears and stands by my father's side, emotionless and hollow, petrified that her 'husband' will kill her, just as frosty as he. And then there is me, the offspring of the cold-hearted couple, standing in between them but yet so distant. We call ourselves a family, a title we don't deserve.  
  
A family requires love, a word my father has never heard of. But sometimes I wonder did he grow to be as cold as he is? Did he share the fire inside of him that we all do? Whatever happened, the flames burned away years ago, leaving his heart engulfed in frostbite, and making him the person he is today. The person I hate.  
  
I like to tell myself that a name is all that we share, but I know that is not true. I have inherited his nasty qualities as much as I deny it, even though they are only a fraction of his. But I tell myself a lot of things, I tell myself I don't need anyone, I tell myself this is what I deserve. But no one deserves to be like this.  
  
I convince myself I can survive without feelings, that I don't long to have friends. That I don't want to be loved, that I don't cry every night. Sometimes I even believe myself, but then that infernal voice in my head corrects me, never trust a Malfoy.  
  
Which brings me back to my hated title. My stereotype and my future, an unoptional choice that I must follow and that I have been threatened with. I shall become a Death Eater and carry on the Malfoy name, something I must do with 'pride' and 'dignity' two features I do not hold especially when talking about my Voldemort.  
  
To make things just that little bit more difficult not only am I holding up a legacy but also a grudge. The grudge between blasted Potter and me made in the first year you would think we have grown up by then wouldn't you? He has only grown to despise me more, which is mostly my own fault. I was so absorbed in my own stubbornness, how dare Potter reject me like he did in first year, in front of everyone. That being the main reason I treat him so badly, I was focused to make him miserable and make him look the fool like he made me. And now he hates me, and it's my entire stupid fault. He didn't purposely refuse my hand in first year because he didn't like me, or because I was a Malfoy, he did because I am spiteful and full of hate. I basically proved myself when stupid Weasley laughed at me and I lashed out at him, maybe Potter knew it would never work with his friends, with us being in different houses or maybe because we are opposites. I mean a slytherin and a Gryffindor! But there is no use dwelling, that's the way it is, and it will never change.  
  
Walking into the Great Hall I am greeted by the buffoons I call 'friends' they are not my friends, they don't like me, they follow orders; in all honesty I shouldn't use them like they use me. But they are handy to have around, an insurance policy, they have been given the approval by father; another reason I shouldn't have them. I try to eat my food in peace but Pansy is soon all over me, she is relentless in her pursuit! So I push her off which only gives her more determination, how pathetic.  
  
My eyes scan the room and the other houses, stopping on the Gryffindor table; they all look so happy, their tedious trademark. Laughing and eating, happy to be in each other's company, how nice. My mind slips into a daydream, I can still hear pansy's pleas in the distance. I am sitting on the Gryffindor table; I'm laughing, smiling, happy. I look over to the Slytherins; they are smirking probably scheming some horrible plan, they are low. Ron has cracked another joke and we are all laughing mercifully, Then I notice a hand is on my shoulder I trace it back to the owner, it is Harry. We are sitting together, best friends. Me and Harry Potter.  
  
The voices suddenly become loud and someone is tapping me on the shoulder quite angrily, I blink a few times and the bulky image of Goyle sharpens. "Did you hear me?" He sputters with his mouth full. "You were looking at the Gryffindors, what's up with you? You were nearly smiling!" Crabbe then sees his chance to enter the conversation, "Probably thinking of ways to spite them!" He chuckles. I smirk, and nod; you have no idea Crabbe but that's one of the most intelligent things you've said.  
  
I'm lying on my bed, my intention was to get to sleep but with all these thoughts whizzing around my head I guess that isn't an option. I groan as I slide out of the covers, since when have I had trouble getting to sleep? But since when have I started having daydreams.about. oh I can't even say his name, I am cringing as I speak I assure you. It makes no sense! Potter and me?  
  
But I have more absurd things to worry about, like where on Earth am I going? Its god knows what time, and I am wandering around the halls aimlessly in my boxers, if anybody saw me!  
  
Oh Merlin I can hear something, what if it's Filch? I stop dead in my tracks as none other than bloody Harry Potter walks around the corner! He looks just as shocked as me; we just stand there staring at each other as my heart does somersaults thinking about that awful daydream.  
  
~ That daydream wasn't awful, it's what you want! Admit it, you like him, you want him to like you! ~ "Shut up!" I shout clenching my fists. "I didn't say anything." He says looking a little worried. "Oh sorry, I'm just suffering from insomnia that's why I'm up in the middle of the night, what's your excuse?" I smirk, then mentally kick myself for being so pleasant!  
  
~ You can't help it, you don't want to be enemies! Admit it! ~  
  
I screw my face up, this stupid voice is taking rubbish, and it won't shut up!  
  
"Well I thought I was the only one who talked to myself, but once again you have proved me wrong, you are more screwed up than me!" He laughs, but his smile soon fades.  
"Shut up Scar head! You're the only one with issues around here!" I spit at him narrowing my eyes.  
"Oh whatever Malfoy, it was a joke, but I suppose you would have to have friends to actually know what a joke is."  
  
I stand stunned as he walks away from me, why did I do that? We were actually being nice to eachother, well the closest I'll get to nice and then I blow it all and lash out at him. Just like I did in first year, the whole reasons we are enemies apart from the fact that we hate eachother.  
  
~ Oh but you don't hate him. ~  
  
Hello? When did I become insane? And when did you start to have a say in my life! Oh god I am talking to myself, get a grip Draco! And I'm still standing here even though Potter is long gone; I mean honestly what is happening to me?  
  
~ The one thing you never thought could happen, you are developing feelings! ~  
  
Feelings for Potter? Don't be so stupid! We are enemies and that will never change, and besides what would I see in him? Stupid messy hair, glasses, jade eyes.  
  
~ I never said you where developing feelings for Harry! You admitted that on your own! ~  
  
Oh shut up! I'm not listening to you anymore I need to get some sleep, I'm so tired I'm imagining annoying voices in my head!  
  
A/n: Continue? Stop? Throw computer out of window? It's your choice! Please review it would make my day thankyou soo much suggestions welcome, presents welcome as well! 


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